5. The Mystery Machine Waste Tank

There’s nothing quite like spending the afternoon trying to track down a sewage disposal center. It’s a disgusting, splatterific job which is made worse by having to perform it in the bitter cold/snow/sleet. Here’s an example of the worst job on the tour.

4. Arizona Cops

Specifically one particular asshole which you can read about right here. He pulled us over on a bullshit reason to search our car. Regardless of whether his hunch was absolutely correct still means I can’t hate him for wasting our time. Also it’s nice to see that now Arizona officers can pull you over for no reason whatsoever. America!

3. Parking Lot Security

Actually, these guys aren’t really enemies, more like a nemesis. They’re just doing their job which is to not let dirtbags in RVs block snowplows from clearing lots. And we’re just doing our job which is to park as close as possible to the slopes, so naturally there’s some friction.

2. El Nino

Does anyone know what El Nino really does? The answer is “no,” but that doesn’t stop people from blaming El Nino on everything from a crappy winter in the Northwest to losing their car keys. I could the go the rest of my life without hearing the phrase: “It’s an El Nino Winter.” Just because it’s in Spanish doesn’t mean that that you understand it.

1. Dave the Dick

Renting a ski house means that you’re going to get folks on vacation. And these “animals” might possibly want to stay up past nine o’clock. Dave the Dick gave us a $100/night steal on the basement to his mansion, but I gladly would have paid more to avoid the scenario of having to party like I was sixteen and this was my parent’s house. Dave the Dick threatened to throw us out, although I do give him bonus points for making me read the rental rules aloud to my friends. Classic asshole move.

Here’s the link to his place which I would only rent if you’re over the age of eighty. What a dick.